Saskatchewan (rectangle of regression)

Moving along, we come to Saskatchewan: a flat, dull prairie province mockingly referred to as the ‘rectangle of regression.’

It has a population just above 1.1 million people: over 75% are white, followed by aboriginals (15%), and a ‘visible minority’ population slightly past 6%. Almost all non-white residents live in the only two major cities.

The capital is Regina (pop: 190,000). The next largest city is Saskatoon (220,000), followed by two minor cities (approx 30,000 each) and a few dozen communities ranging from 1,500 to 16,000 people.

As of 2018, the most dangerous place in Canada is North Battleford, Saskatchewan (pop: 14,535). In 2017, both Regina and Saskatoon made the list for most violent places in Canada, as they regularly do year after year. They often take the top spot for violent crime, intermittently exchanging the title with Winnipeg, Manitoba.

In 2017, Saskatoon had the highest reported crime rate in Canada, followed by Regina in third place.

Saskatchewan also has the highest rates of domestic violence, intimate-partner homicides, and partner sexual assaults within the provinces. Its partner-violence rate is double the rest of the country.

The news is no better regarding child poverty: the latest stats show roughly 1 in 4 children living in poverty; that number jumps to 69% on reserves. Despite repeated promises from the government about improvements, the rate is the same as it was in 1989.

The current unemployment rate is 7.1%. The average house price in Saskatoon is $312,000; in Regina it’s $278,000 after a slide in prices.

Because Saskatchewan is so flat, boring, and has little to do: alcohol and drug consumption remain major problems; drinking and driving is a consistent issue and the province tops the list year after year for impaired driving deaths. It’s the top cause of road fatalities with over 400 cases in the month of May alone. 

When they aren’t boozing, drunk driving and beating their partners, Saskwatches are busy watching the “Roughriders” [CFL football team] while wearing watermelons on their heads. The team is something of a provincial obsession, to the point where they spent $278 MILLION dollars on a stadium for the team.

Yes, in a province with barely over a million people, where a quarter of kids are in poverty, which has crumbling infrastructure and services that barely meet citizens needs, where 90% of First Nations people don’t have clean drinking water – they spent nearly 300 million on a new stadium (that will only seat a maximum of 7000 more people than the previous one).

The University of Regina is a joke throughout the country, as is the province as a whole. It’s generally looked at as a bumbling fiasco filled with an obese, ignorant, anti-progressive populace.

That’s Saskatchewan in a nutshell.

Or you can take caker-tourism at its word. For instance, here’s what it says about Saskatoon:

“With so much to offer, Saskatoon is one of Canada’s most talked about destinations. As it thrives economically and excels as a forward thinking metropolis, the door is always open for discovery. It is the place to experience fresh eateries, bustling nightlife, river trails and other outdoor spaces as well as cultural institutions and museums.”

O Canada!  

See: Rants about Saskatchewan

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